Thank you for sharing your story, Maya. I hadn’t realized what cultural challenges the language divide poses for next-generation children of immigrant families. I’ve never expected my French or Spanish to be perfect because I just learned them for fun and for travel. I can’t imagine having so much pressure from family and members of your native culture to speak perfectly in order to belong. To have that pressure on one side, and then also the pressure to assimilate into the culture you’re born into on the other side, must be stressful and confusing. I’m grateful for your perspective on this.
Thanks for reading, Liz. Not everyone feels this weird stress about speaking their parents' language, but many people do. Your understanding is really appreciated, I just read a comment thread where many people were in disbelief and felt that somehow our parents had made mistakes in teaching us or that we should work harder at learning our parents' language. Ouch. Talk about missing the point. So your comment was especially nice to receive!
I’ve had my own experience recently of commenters completely missing the point of my writing, so I’m glad I could bring you some support and validation! 😁
It was great to read this!! I have missed hearing your voice. Two thoughts came to mind... one is the world can be hard on women. My Kaz goes through the world without anyone shaming him for his real laziness in learning Japanese. It is his native language and half his heritage for goodness sake. But no one pushes him--they do shame me. I usually snap at people who do this. He is at University now (Manoa) and still not taking Japanese classes (his reason is working and Japanese is everyday). He is going back to violin but resists language and also I do push him to take a space exploration and more physics classes but he says he likes business. Anyway... yes. Women have it rough sometimes because people are more apt to shame them on things. The other thing that your essay brought to mind was a friend of mine once said that the only people who ever said stuff like this about his language skills were not proficient at other languages...not at all, he said. When they say things like "what a shame you can't..." they themselves often can't either. My friend speaks Japanese fluently, plus Russian Ukrainian and French.
It was KECK's 30 year anniversary and I was in Waimea at a celebration dinner, sitting next to a man of second generation Japanese decent who also does not speak the language. His father (former president of UH) spoke it and one of two of his kids gets by.... but it is a Herculean challenge in the US to learn to speak and read Japanese. Even in Hawaii!!! End of story!! I just finished a story collection, btw, set in Honolulu author is kanaka-Japanese Megan Kamalei Kakimoto. I am going to write a review for Kyoto Journal--will send it when I am done. xoxo
can't wait to see the review! Exciting! Substack is the only space where I consistently see interesting work like that. Thank you so much for pointing out the gender issue! So true! I'm glad your son has found Hawaii to be a more chill space for us hapa kids, it was not so good when I was a kid. I think the mainland would have been much worse, but in Hawaii the Japanese-American community always felt so insular. But back to gender, you make a good point. I have to keep reminding my husband that being large and male makes it so much easier for him to do all kinds of things.
This is a great read, Maya. Appreciate your perspective on language shame, which is something that I've written about before. I'm still plugging away at my Korean studies though not consistently. Incidentally, my college kid is taking Korean class and may even minor in it!
Thank you for sharing your story, Maya. I hadn’t realized what cultural challenges the language divide poses for next-generation children of immigrant families. I’ve never expected my French or Spanish to be perfect because I just learned them for fun and for travel. I can’t imagine having so much pressure from family and members of your native culture to speak perfectly in order to belong. To have that pressure on one side, and then also the pressure to assimilate into the culture you’re born into on the other side, must be stressful and confusing. I’m grateful for your perspective on this.
Thanks for reading, Liz. Not everyone feels this weird stress about speaking their parents' language, but many people do. Your understanding is really appreciated, I just read a comment thread where many people were in disbelief and felt that somehow our parents had made mistakes in teaching us or that we should work harder at learning our parents' language. Ouch. Talk about missing the point. So your comment was especially nice to receive!
I’ve had my own experience recently of commenters completely missing the point of my writing, so I’m glad I could bring you some support and validation! 😁
It was great to read this!! I have missed hearing your voice. Two thoughts came to mind... one is the world can be hard on women. My Kaz goes through the world without anyone shaming him for his real laziness in learning Japanese. It is his native language and half his heritage for goodness sake. But no one pushes him--they do shame me. I usually snap at people who do this. He is at University now (Manoa) and still not taking Japanese classes (his reason is working and Japanese is everyday). He is going back to violin but resists language and also I do push him to take a space exploration and more physics classes but he says he likes business. Anyway... yes. Women have it rough sometimes because people are more apt to shame them on things. The other thing that your essay brought to mind was a friend of mine once said that the only people who ever said stuff like this about his language skills were not proficient at other languages...not at all, he said. When they say things like "what a shame you can't..." they themselves often can't either. My friend speaks Japanese fluently, plus Russian Ukrainian and French.
It was KECK's 30 year anniversary and I was in Waimea at a celebration dinner, sitting next to a man of second generation Japanese decent who also does not speak the language. His father (former president of UH) spoke it and one of two of his kids gets by.... but it is a Herculean challenge in the US to learn to speak and read Japanese. Even in Hawaii!!! End of story!! I just finished a story collection, btw, set in Honolulu author is kanaka-Japanese Megan Kamalei Kakimoto. I am going to write a review for Kyoto Journal--will send it when I am done. xoxo
can't wait to see the review! Exciting! Substack is the only space where I consistently see interesting work like that. Thank you so much for pointing out the gender issue! So true! I'm glad your son has found Hawaii to be a more chill space for us hapa kids, it was not so good when I was a kid. I think the mainland would have been much worse, but in Hawaii the Japanese-American community always felt so insular. But back to gender, you make a good point. I have to keep reminding my husband that being large and male makes it so much easier for him to do all kinds of things.
This is a great read, Maya. Appreciate your perspective on language shame, which is something that I've written about before. I'm still plugging away at my Korean studies though not consistently. Incidentally, my college kid is taking Korean class and may even minor in it!